Mitcham Raiders 2007 Part I

Well, we are a few weeks into the soccer season now, and the Mitcham Raiders are back again. As always, we seem to have the same core of defence, and once again a newish midfield and forward line. Lazy as we are, we kind of didn’t bother about training. Or a pre-season. Most of us met at our first practice game. Some guys joined the team two weeks into the season. Our first few weeks we just couldn’t quite pull all of it together. Four games, three 1 goal losses and a draw. Funnily, it was in a big part due to our ‘trusty’ old defence, making a few silly mistakes (although our starting keeper is traipsing around Europe idolising Billy Corgan). We scored goals in all of our games, however, and things have balanced out. Sure, we lost to fellow Mitcham team Benitiez by a bit, but since then, we’ve pulled ourselves together. We’re two wins in a row now, and starting to look tidy. Our keeper, the Red Bull will be back, and hopefully the next two thirds of the season leave me plenty to boast about.

Insured.

So this week I was reading my insurance contract. RACV has an 80 page book that explains in fine detail what they do and don’t cover. I started flicking through it, but actually found it to be an amusing read.

Apparently, they will not cover loss or damage:
Caused intentionally by you, or a person acting with your express or implied consent. (Fair enough)
If a person legally seizes your vehicle or contents (understandable)
Caused by, or arising from any hostilities, rebellion, riot, civil commotion or war – whether war has been formally declared or not (err, what?)
Caused by, or arising from the use, existence, or escape of any nuclear or radioactive material (err, what what?!?)
Caused by or arising from any act of terrorism that involves biological, chemical or nuclear pollution or contamination. (yeah, sure)
Arising from failure to secure your vehicle, or leave it safe after it broke down, suffered accidental damage or was stolen and then found. (so somewhere between purposeful damage, and not locking my car, is war, nuclear meltdown and biological terrorism?

And come on, what is an undeclared war? How long could you drop bombs on someone before the lights flicked on in their brains that it was an act of war, rather than friendly neighbourhood shelling. What would constitute an undeclared war? Or a declared war, at that? Is it war if we get into a fight with Berwick mid soccer game? Or is it only war when shooting starts? I’m confused, somebody please help me.